|Ignoring the woman may save your life...|
I'm back, after a much needed break. Not that i needed one but my mum did. Badly.
The woman is strong. No kidding. But lately, she's been acting like a blind cranky old bitch.
It all began a few weeks ago, when she started wearing pieces of glass in front of her eyes that made her look like an old owl realizing that she was about to hit the only tree standing in an open field. The glass thing wasn't so bad but the eyes, the eyes!!!
If that wasn't scary enough, she also started to take showers in the middle of the night. Did she roll in mud or fox poop or whatever humans roll in at 2 in the morning for fun? Nope. She was just "hot". I mean, I've been hot before and frankly, nothing to fuss about, right? After the forth shower, I told the woman to just stick her tongue out and breathe. Works for me.
She listened to me - always does - and a few minutes later, she ended up with a brown paper bag in her face...
Of course, dad, chevaleresque as usual, asked if he could do something for her, is she needed help or... OH DOG!!! Did he get it!!! She snapped at him, just like that! Bit him hard, fangs out and razor sharp as a wolf! And she did not look like Bella! Dad and I both ran for our lives, me under the bed and him taking cover in the basement. He was safe all right, she never goes down there, "man cave" she says.
So,... we let her destroy a couple of plates and throw a few books before risking back in the kitchen, where we found her sobbing like a puppy poodle. Between two hiccups, she managed to mumble that she was "monospouse"...
(scratching my ears)
Ok, the woman is the only one in my dad's life - that i know of and my nose never failed me - so why being the mono-spouse seems to be the most horrifying thing? Shouldn't she be happy about that instead? I mean, dad is not like this neighbor dog of mine who pleases bitches in the village every month so, what's the big deal?
Anyway, this week, i learned one very important thing about the woman.
Heard she was turning 45 next week (not that I care, really...) so, if I want to stay alive, better ignore her...
Anipals, if you have a "monospouse" woman in your house, please be careful!